23 May 2021, 5:52 am
This is very early, who wakes up at 5:30? Haha, I don’t either but I guess it’s the excitement to write the first one.
I have been delaying this thing for months now but why am I even doing this? what’s the need? what’s the goal of doing this? I don’t know, I started doing everyday journals to catch some glimpse of the day so there’s something I can look back to. Again I’m quoting the inspiration for urfwoof “We see the forest but miss the trees”. Writing here is very different from there, no one reads when I’m writing on the notes app. It’s way too much open for me here, but why it is so hard? I don’t know who is reading, how are they evaluating this, it’s like giving an exam but you never get any remarks. I’m trying to keep them personal, like a letter that I can read later on but if that resonates with anyone then I’m also writing these letters to you.
Let’s start this with some intro ( I’ll share in some other one that why we start our intro with our name and the place we live in). I’m living in New Delhi, with my mother and 2 sisters (I’m the youngest 😓). We have always lived with mummy, papa has always been in a different city for work (now Kashmir). We have been convincing him to let us come there but I don’t think that’s going to happen. This is something which I don’t have an answer to either, I mean I had friends who would go with their fathers whenever they got a new posting. Though shifting even once was hard, super hard! Ahh, I can remember coming from Indore to Delhi. The major change was friends, I didn’t have any phone back then to talk to them after coming to Delhi, new friends in a new school here in Delhi and the same thing in college, new friends again. There was no continuity. I literally used to cry and request mummy that why can’t we go back?
I think my playlist can tell you my mood entirely. So whenever I’m listening to any of those songs again I’m able to recognize the time when I added the song (not very precisely like the date and time but the period of that year). Currently, it’s John Mayer. How can I not speak about him when I’m talking about myself. His style is very satisfying. Some songs come with a focus on the instruments and beats and some come with a focus on lyrics. John Mayer has both, I guess his writing is his another instrument. I even enjoy the songs that he wrote back in the 2000s (Why Georgia, Daughters, Half of my heart, Edge of desire is my favourite).
I have been enjoying reading a lot, a lot! Fiction, non-fiction, blogs on the internet, everywhere! I guess that’s also one of the reasons why I’m writing. Consuming too much is hard when you’re not producing your own work. I guess the very first book I read was “The Race of my life”, its an Autobiography of the Indian athlete Milkha Singh. It was very hard for me to convince mummy that why I want a book on which a film has been produced which I have already watched a lot of times. I thought there must be something different because he himself has written it, while the film was produced by someone else. Currently, I’m reading “Lust for life”. I guess I’m relating to mostly what’s happening in the book. It’s hard for me to even think how Vincent is going to survive another half of the book. The world is against him and his view of the world is beautiful. Last night when I was reading, I realized how much variety of food that we have now, bread and cheese is what he is asking for. But then the way he is protecting his inner-self from everything is inspiring. After his death (or suicide? I don’t know), he was realised as one of the most influential painters in western art.
What else is going on? I’m working with a credit & financing startup as a Designer. I haven’t yet found my own voice in the work that I’m doing (I don’t know if that is even important or not). In the last one and half years, almost everything has changed. I never knew that I would be doing something in a creative field, though I used to paint a lot till I was in 9th class. I would have shared them but while shifting the drawing books and sketches got misplaced. I did not know that I would ever get permission to grow my hairs long. Till 15 or 16 I used to get an army haircut. I was never in support of this thing😂, in school that was tough as I was the only one whose father was in the army. Other boys used to get those stylish hairstyles.
So, here is the first one. I know it was supposed to be about my weeks but I guess without knowing something about me it would be hard for even you to relate or connect.
I’ll also try to share some pages from the internet that I liked recently:
Thank you for reading it :)