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Lucky from Welcome and Chaos

30th May, 6:50 am

Mummy is getting annoyed with my Sunday morning alarms, 5:30 is super early. When papa is not here I usually sleep in her room.

Last week felt like a year! It was nice seeing that I was finally able to post. But yeah I have been waiting to write this one for many obvious reasons. So, the last one was kind of an intro but from now these are going to be more about the week that has passed and I have decided not to be very specific about the days and the routine. That’s such a boring thing to read.

Lucky from Welcome

Haha, idk what do I even say about this? The hairs have grown almost long enough that it is necessary to tie them, otherwise, it becomes harder to comb. Every strand has curls, very similar to mummy but my sisters have super straight hairs. Mine is a mess, a total mess. I have just started tieing them and I was looking a lot like “Lucky” from the movie Welcome. Shivani first noticed this!

Sunday highs and Monday

Reading consumes a major part of my Sundays and reading about Vincent is not easy. It kind of stays with you, it’s hard to not think about him after reading. Sunday is great but then on Monday, it is kind of a forced detachment, where I don’t even want to start anything unless I’m out of that thought. But there’s no choice. Don’t pick up the book if you don’t like being consumed by just one thing. By the end, you will think, talk and view things the way Vincent did. I’m kind of scared because the end is approaching and I know a bit about what’s going to happen in the end. His thoughts are getting very clear that it’s somewhat impossible for him to now get influenced by the people around him. The book literally has the soul of Vincent. It’s kind of a filter that will change what’s real for you (lol, my examples). That’s what views, opinions, influences and perspectives are, right?

You can read without hesitating when I’m talking about a certain book, I promise I wouldn’t reveal anything. I’m putting my thoughts here, nothing from the book.

The Trees

At the start of the week, I started memorising everything that was happening or things I wanted to talk about in the next letter. But there are chances that I will miss out on certain things. So I started writing short points for the topics, clues that will help me while I’m writing. This is keeping me present in the moment and not thinking so frequently about what has already gone or what is next. I love that. Also, writing these short clues helps clear the mind. Okay, think about your brain like a finite space that you can fill with things. If I’m trying to remember something, that would take up space right? But what if I just write it down and free myself from remembering it? Because eventually “Mind is for coming up with new ideas and not storing them”. Super simple yet crazy thing.

Idk If I’ll include this thing while posting today’s letter as I’m not very comfortable talking about work (I don’t like to call it to work, but that’s the label that it comes with). So, I’m not very fast in thinking, or even working. It takes me time to catch up with the defaults. I got the notice that my performance isn’t up to their expectations (expectations kill the vibe, I have a Lil comic in the end for you). Idk what’s next, I mean I haven’t left the startup yet. This is something that I thought when I was not getting any internships, what else if the design isn’t my thing? You won’t believe this but earlier this year, I ended up learning 4-wheeler just because of this fear. If nothing, I would start driving ola or uber. Though I would keep doing it anyway. I started reading this book “Form, Function and Design”. It talks about architecture and how it affects us. In the starting Paul Jacques Grillo, the author has written a letter to every young designer which ends like this:

If anyone in the family reads this, please don’t take this seriously. Also, how did you even get the link?

Chaos

I used to hate chaos because that’s everywhere. Nothing is in that perfect state. Everyone wishes for that perfect state to start or eventually getting into stability. But I think that just doesn’t exist. When I dropped out, I barely knew what I’m going to do next, I had exams starting a week later. When I stopped football after the 11th standard, I was so confused as I did not study anything the entire year. How I’m going to understand the topics in the 12th standard without knowing the basics? But this is something that I have started to absolutely love, chaos is just a bunch of random things coming your way, pick up things you like, try out, you might create something, you might not but that’s not important. Going through is! Think about this letter, I’m just picking some thoughts, that aren’t even mine, I’m just getting influenced by the things that I consume and in the end, I have something that gives a structure to those random, unconnected things.

"Creativity is about exploring risk, uncertainty and emotional exposure every day."

Evelyn Kim, Design Director, Uber Eats

Mayur Sir

Mayur sir was our drawing teacher, In primary as well as in secondary school. I don’t know much about how he thought about art and other things. But he was crazy when trying to teach us how to draw. Every class used to be pretty much the same, he would come, start drawing something on the blackboard and everyone is required to draw it in their “Drawing books”. But we used to do that in our “rough notebooks”. He never liked it, “Why y’all don’t bring drawing books”? (no one gave him the attention, I don’t think he cared about it anyway) The art gallery in the school was amazing, I used to love that cozy vibe there, but it was hard to get a drawing period which was of the art gallery. I remember we used to keep staring at the paintings, sketches and other creations. Though I loved drawing but not Mayur (sir). He was one of those teachers who would beat the students so hard, I mean that sound used to be super loud. But recently when I heard about him being affected by the virus, I was surprised you know that why am I being so empathetic about a teacher that I did not even like? Some of my school friends felt the same thing. Though I wouldn’t like to meet him but I hope he recovers very soon.

Done with city life

We’re thinking of changing the house, I’m super excited! The city buildings do excite you initially but when you’re inside for a year it becomes boring. I love trees, but there’s not a single one here. Of course, these aren’t the reasons why we’re changing it, but I hope these were. At least when I would grow up and if I’m making these decisions, I will consider these as super important. Idk if it will be Delhi or any other state. I would like to go to some village in Manali or Kashmir (Gurez/ Gulmarg). I prefer less space to stay but more space to walk around.

Interesting stuff from the internet:

  • My place - Olivia Laing
    In the end, she says “It is so selfish to make art, I can basically forget that anyone exists for a few hours. It’s like the psychic room that you make art from, you have to defend it. You have to defend it from love, sometimes and that’s so weird but essential”.

  • My place - Florence Welch
    ”For me living in a house or being in a room is like tending to the living organism, you have to keep adding things to taking stuff away and it sort of lives and breathes with you”
    ”I like the past in objects, I’d say the past in mind less”

  • Population of one
    ”I have a lot of time to do that because I’m in the desert, it’s so sparse and there are very few rules. It makes it more likely that a creative person would be able to do what they want there. And it’s also like a good test of an artist, to see whether or not they will do their artwork if left alone to it.”

I love these comics -

I was about to post this and I got this news, one of my sister “Gulshan” (though her real name is Pratibha) has given birth to the baby. Why do people pose like this😂

Challo bye! Otherwise, I wouldn’t get the breakfast today😂