June 12, 7:16 pm
The subtitle, both are the same😂
We (four of us) just had our nice family moment, I love these. While eating dinner it’s very likely that we're watching Shin-chan, yesterday mummy watched a very nice episode and shared it now while we were together for the evening chai, I was just listening without the chai. Allow me to share about the episode:
Shinchan's mom has gone out and he was alone—
So he called this pizza company to get it delivered, they asked for the name. He said, Shinchan, sir your phone number? Voh toh nahi pta, acha sir aapka address? arre, voh bhi nahi pta". Sir uske bina toh nahi pizza deliver nahi ho payega.
Shinchan: Acha ruko mei dekhta hu,
He opens some old diary and looks for the information
and brings the address and phone number of his dog "Masao" lol.
He literally asked if he can give the address and phone number of "Masao" and they said “sir fir vahan pr deliver hoga” he said “acha haa fir rahne do, aur fir kabhi yahan phone mat krna. Pr sir phone toh aapne kiya tha….
Which cartoons do you watch?
Ahh, I used to watch Chota bheem, Doraemon, Shinchan, Oggy and the cockroaches, and a lot more. Oh, I forgot Winnie the Pooh. I still remember the timings for some of them, 3 pm was for oggy, and before that Doraemon. It was a struggle to watch cartoons back then, firstly there was only one TV so you need to have your time in which you can watch shows and channels you prefer. Secondly, it shouldn't have to be the peak time like dinner or when everyone is around. Otherwise, either you will be scolded for watching cartoons and wasting your time or you will be asked something about your studies and all that. But luckily after lunch, everyone used to sleep for some time, and those were my favorite hours to do things I love. Watch cartoons, do nothing, play with the ball, and eventually waiting for 5 pm to hear my friends calling up to play outside. That's another hurdle, getting the permission to go outside at 5 pm when the is sun at its peak. But as a kid you don't care about that, what you care about is if you're in the playground or not. And when papa used to be there, I can't even expect to go out at 5 pm. I’ll have to study for at least an hour, and then probably I would get the permission. But I never liked it, going so late. The irony is adults first started that you shouldn’t be late anywhere, be on time. To make it more relatable for you, would you like to go to your friend’s birthday party, but 2-3 hours late. When the exciting things have already happened, deciding the game to play, who's in which team, where are we playing. And when mummy is not at home, has gone to market or at some friend’s place, I don't care about the reason, lol. That used to be the dream because then you can start at 4 or 3, now I can decide what is best for me. How mummy would know that I went out to play at 4? unless sometimes their plan would change and all mothers would catch their kids playing at 4:30, ahh I don't like that at all. Why would you drop a plan? go somewhere else, come home when you promised. Don't disturb our plans.
It was Abhishek's birthday this week, 8th June. He's love, you know people call some of their friends as best friends? yeah, he is that. I don't even consider him as a friend anymore, more like a brother as they say "मुंह बोला भाई". He is just some days elder than me, but we call him Chota Bhai (in the group). Last year, I changed his name to Bhavesh (you can guess the reason here), at least in my phone book.
He was my first friend in Delhi, we met in school. I had just entered the class, some Hindi professor was teaching in the class (I don't know his name, as he left the school the very next day). I was staring at the benches to find a vacant seat and students were staring at me. Probably because I was wearing the wrong uniform that day (I did that intentionally as I never liked the sports uniform) or looking at a face which they would have to see every day now. Time was passing and the anger in the professor's face was increasing. So I thought let’s just enter into a line and I will stand at the back, at this time a boy at the back who doesn't even have a seat calls "bhai piche aaja, aaja aaja piche aaja". A guy at the back in a green polo t-shirt, I couldn't see him, later I did. But he didn't have a seat, a bench beside him did. I set there for the rest of the lecture. After that everyone came to ask my name and stuff. Then I met him, everyone was like he isn't the best person to sit with. But I didn't care because they're of course biased by his previous behavior. I wanted a fresh start. I wanted to see everyone from new eyes, wanted that first-time experience. I wanted to be a stranger and not become one of them by gathering all of their biases within a day. Surprisingly, he was living just 5 mins away from my home. We were in Sarojini Nagar at that time, he was in Nauroji Nagar (opposite Sarojini Nagar). He wasn't so special during that time, sometimes we would come home together, sometimes not. Sometimes I would see him in school, I mean I was seeing it as a group of new friends that I have met. I think it was my 2nd or 3rd day (I'm not sure, it could have been from the last days of April), I was standing by the bus stand with papa, so did he but at a little distance. I didn't know that I'm seeing uncle for the first and last time. We met on the bus. Sorry, Abhishek I did not want to bring this up, but it’s just there in my memory dude, and hard to forget, give me a call if you want but I wouldn't pick up, text me!. By this time we were still random friends, I won't be hearted if he would have left the school the next day.
He also came home for the first time when we decided to take coaching, we were going for the trial classes. Everyone in my family remembers his first impression which is a very cute one. Our house was very close to the block's main gate, it used to be open during the day, for some reason one was closed that day. Everyone saw him, swinging on the gate, he wasn’t very tall in 10th. But he stopped coming the next day, I was confused that why he has stopped. Summer vacations have started so I couldn't even ask him in school. I didn't know his house number. I stopped going there too. The first day after vacation was nice, it was raining. Mukul, one of the friends told me Abhishek's father passed away. I knew he is just passing the time. But when our class teacher told us, I was shocked. Again I was not attached to him in any way, but it was a weird feeling. I was not able to wait to see him, he came to school I think after some weeks. Everyone was waiting for a sad face, someone who is in need of empathy, for love, to understand him. But he came, happily smiling, full of life. I love that, but that time I was shocked and I reacted in a very weird way. I almost stopped talking to him and started reacting less to him, thinking he is not in a good situation. By the time we passed the 10th class we had become very nice friends. He had chosen Commerce with IP, I had Commerce with Maths. I wasn’t too attached to anyone and when classes shuffled there were new people again. Due to a lot of students in the IP section, some students were shifted to the Maths section. He was one of them. He had shifted to Janakpuri, we used to go home together, no matter what. By chance, sometimes it used to be the same bus while going to school too. I liked that. We have started sitting together, along with some friends. Ahh, now he had become my friend. 11th class was love, I didn't study anything for the entire year. I played football to the fullest in the academy and in school I used to chill, pass the time. Classes seemed fun now, as I was imagining my future in football so I thought studies don't make any sense for me. We both used to visit each other’s homes. For the reason to study, which we never did. Mostly we would end up talking about girls and other classmates or trying to plan our extremely blur future. We both do not wanted to study, I was used to studying under pressure kyunki number nahi aayenge toh admission nahi hoga, but he was a free child.
By the 12th class, we had become really good friends. You never sign an agreement, as they do in marriage, most of the stuff is unspoken and it just happens. In the morning he used to message me when the bus that he is in is about to reach Sarojini Nagar so that we can go together. If for some reason I'm not on the stand he used to come home. While coming back from school, we used to wait for the AC bus, since his distance till home was very long. Back then I didn’t like it, waiting for a bus in sun at 2 pm but now it seems beautiful. During our so-called farewell, the girl he dreamed of proposed to him. He told me this first, I was so happy like she has asked me. He kept sharing most of the things, the conversations. It was like I'm in a relationship. He once said, “bhai galat time pr pyaar hogya, exams start hone valle hain aur kuch nahi padha”. Whenever he would come, he would start talking about her and I used to be like “bhai dheere bol mummy sun legi”. But he never cared about it, I told you right? he’s a free child. I was experiencing the relationship from his view. He used to meet her after our final exams, telling aunty that he is coming to meeting me.
He was interested in modeling and similar stuff. so he took a year after 12th to try things out, I think we both have this thing, we always end up doing what we truly want to do. I had started going to college by then. I had little time for him now, to chat or meet him for no reason. I told you right? new friends in the new college. But this time I wasn't seeing things from his view. He is not going to any college! Most of his friends are in college and they don't have time for him too. I realized this very late, he understood this. Again most of this kind of stuff is unspoken and is only realized when looking back. During the virus, we met twice. I didn't like the first one, I was in a very different mood. I liked the second one, he came home to meet. Ahh itna bhi special nahi, aunty was visiting her friends in INA, so he came too. We walked into our basement, lol had a conversation while sitting on someone's scooter. Now we don't care if we're talking regularly or not, I never knew that he would become something for me. We rarely share this kind of relationship with someone, it takes time and effort to build up to this. And of course, the understanding towards each other. It’s like I'm talking about my girlfriend, lol. But it’s the same thing for us. I don’t know what differences it would bring by just changing the gender?
I always wanted a brother, bahane bhot achi hain pr bhai bhi chahiye tha. I have around 15-20 cousin brothers but a friend who's like a brother is different. I don't care how he will judge me about things, because I know he won't. He has now become used to me canceling almost every plan in the end. I love that. What they mean when they say “Unconditional love”? I think its actually the purest form of love, which is without any expectation, conditions, there are no rules. You know when we’re young, how do we make friends? We don’t, it’s our parents who do it for us, “Challo bache ab haath milao”, and it is seen as a symbol of starting up a friendship. Earlier people shake hands to show they are without any weapons and can be trusted.
Only once I have seen him talk about uncle. I don’t even know who he was, I know he was the world to Abhishek. I can feel the emptiness, looking at him sometimes though he is smiling always so you can’t be sure. Last year, he called me around 6 pm, he was crying and as always sounded stuffed up. Aunty has thrown him out of the house, as he was crying for hours while remembering uncle, he said “bhai kabhi itni yaad nahi aayi papa ki, jitni aaj aayi hai”. This was the first time he actually shared something about uncle and as always I got awkward. He had cold, I suggested him to get tested for virus and stop roaming outside. He is very much like me, with close to zero interaction with random people and a lot with people he knows.
So, who is a best friend? someone you can’t define as I’m not able to.
How do we differentiate between a friend and the best one? What are those characteristics, do we differentiate by characteristics? Do we even look for something? Or it just gets built up? Can we have more than one? I think it’s love in the end which is mostly unspoken. You might miss understand this, but you're free to do so.
Thank you to everyone who's reading. Without readers, it becomes a little harder for writers to write. Though they would still write. Haha, I'm not considering myself as a writer here, just saying so. I have realized that writing on weekends wouldn't work very long for me if I want to continue doing this. I keep getting ideas or nice ways to put some things down in the next one, sometimes I forget them while I’m reaching to pick up the phone and write. Infinite thoughts that I'm stacking on the phone, which I think isn't working. I need to find a workaround. Because I think it’s not just about writing, more about thinking. I can stop myself from writing but not from thinking. I'm thinking the entire week and with the clues I usually forget the original thought and the emotion. Let me know if you have any suggestions around this, I’m always up for feedback and suggestions.
I'm in love with Urdu. It’s very well said that it’s the language to talk about love and emotions. Just reading it will give you peace. I have been reading a lot of songs/ ghazals that are written in the Urdu language. I have realized that I have been seeing a lot of things for just the purpose of entertainment, just to listen to the story. Since it’s an art, there must be a message, which is often left upon the audience to interpret. Languages serve different purposes, they attract different kinds of people. I know language is eventually just to communicate and keep us alive but I think you can’t communicate every thought, all the emotions in a single language. Every language brings its own style. I apologize if I have gotten anything wrong here but I think Urdu is a language that is being used to talk with god about love, I think both are the same thing. As many times both are used interchangeably too.
From the internet:
The Rajkumari Ratnawati girl’s school - I love the thing that these guys from New York have made in Jaisalmer, India. It is so beautiful and self-sustainable, doesn’t feel like a external thing that has been constructed there. It belongs there. it belongs to them. You can read more about why the architects designed it like that, gallery, link1, link2.
I read a lot from Bhardwaj Ragan’s blog, where he has been writing about movies. Ahh, his perspective is always different and interesting. I like to see art from a lot of views because that increases the empathy for people, it tells us the biases they’re holding on to, experiences they have been through, how they must have grown up, in what situation. Think about it, when someone says I don’t believe in freedown of speech, it’s not them, it’s their experience, things that influence them. It requires effort and sometimes a lot of pain to look above all these things and also see things from multiple perspectives. I watched this show “P.O.W. - Bandi Yuddh Ke” in 11th standard, in the end, it said, “Log bure nahi hote, halat bure hote hain”. Such a beautiful thing, no? It’s just our generation that has gotten the privilege to get influenced from across borders and not just see things as people around us see. That’s the thing that scares the older generation the most. Think about a village in Rajasthan, how would people there know about how they can get educated or if something like education exists? Anyway, I watched Delhi-6, it validated my thought that we mostly fight to maintain our character and eventually to prove things we believe in or thoughts we have. You can read Bhardwaj’s interpretation here. Here is another one from Sandip Bajeli.
Another thing I wanted to talk about is how we realise a lot of things about ourselves, that happend to us unconsciously or we felt only after we read about it somewhere, it strikes us at that time. By reading, seeing, watching, or experiencing we become aware of such things and relate to others. A lot of things that I’m talking about are already known to you, a lot of times I’m just pointing out things. For eg: that 5 pm thing in our childhood is experienced by each one of us, for some, it could be 4 or 6 too but that’s not the point. Its that excitement to go out that I wanted to talk about.
In this interview of Salim Khan by Neelesh Misra, I’ll talk in some other letter about how I have grown up listening to the stories by Neelesh Misra on the radio. In this one Salim Khan mentions:
”Prophet Muhammad was once asked, what is the biggest worship, Ibadat? He said Mohabbat.” Jihad is within us, it is a thought. Who’re we against? No one, but against someone’s thought.
Excerpt from the lyrics of the song “In Lamhon Ke Daaman Mein” (movie - Jodha Akhbar):
”Mere khwabon ke iss gulistaan mei, tumse hi toh bahar chayee hain
Phoolon mein rang mere the lekin, in mei khushboo tumhi se aayi hain”
Its very easy to understand, but I lack the deep perspective that the writer has written it in:
The writer says: In the garden (gulistan) of my dreams, you have brought the beautiful springtime, the flowers had my colors but the fragrance is yours. See just by changing the language the whole thing felt so normal. While in Urdu it touches the heart directly. Also, Urdu is made up of Sanskrit, Persian and Arabic language, so if you will ever search for some word for it meaning you might find out that is from one of those languages.
Last time I forget to mention who had written that phrase which I kept in the end. Prophet Mohamad said, “Die before you Die”. So before your actual death, die for your self-exploration. When it breaks you, you discover the purest you. This is very well explained by Ali Asani in this video by Ali sethi. Ali Asani is a professor of Indo-Muslim Cultures at Harward University.
I know some thoughts are still not clear as I’m spending very little time editing these. After posting this it feels so weird and almost like deleting all posts, but as the day ends it becomes normal. Mostly because of the vulnerability that sharing in public brings. Be bye, thank you again for spending your time on this :)